How to Create a Bit of Vacation Every Day - Mindfulness

Ahhh…Summertime.  There’s nothing like those long summer days, starting with glorious sunny mornings, hot lazy afternoons, and extended time outside through light-filled evenings.  If we slow down and notice, we respond internally to the nuances of the season.  Perhaps we notice an increased sense of well-being or less stress, even if dealing with tough issues involving clinical or mental health.  But, summer is short and can fly by - It is July 4th weekend already!  It is important to be mindful of where we are time-wise and to be aware of taking advantage of what the season has to offer.  Sometimes, we Americans are not too good at enjoyment with our work orientation and busy schedules.  In fact, it is noted that we are the second most overworked country in the world!

So, instead of waiting to unwind and relax on vacation, why not learn to have a bit of vacation every day?  Yes, you heard me – vacation every day!  That means integrating relaxation and enjoyment into each day – being in the moment and noticing the beauty around us, releasing stress, being more present to others and more available for pleasurable activities.  This can indeed be done – that is, with a bit of a shift of mindset as well as willingness to experiment with new ways of living – learning to recreate, being more experiential, and taking loving care of ourselves through soothing our senses.  These skills help us make for a well-rounded lifestyle and increased quality of life.

Recreation vs. Recuperation

Americans take much less time off for vacation and pleasure.  This is probably no surprise for any of us as we know that it can be tough to take the time to get away.  But there is a price to be paid for not taking time off or overworking.  For instance, have you ever had the experience of overworking over a long period of time and then take time off, only to get sick?  By the time vacation came around, it was too late.  You may have planned to recreate but your body needed to recuperate.  When we overwork and live disconnected from ourselves, we tend to operate on empty and there is no energy for fun, recreation, and leisure.  We can even forget who we really are!  Time off then becomes more about recuperating from exhaustion, irritability, and poor lifestyle habits – sort of like a short-term rehab!  This is totally different from recreation which is about movement, play, interacting, laughing, and creating.

Recreating is actually needed and is productive – much like play is not only about fun for children, but is necessary in order to complete brain development.  Recreating and its associated healthy activities help us grow and become more expansive and whole, both neurologically as well as emotionally.  Perhaps that is what is meant by the old saying “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

Watching vs. Experiencing

One evening last summer I was standing on the deck at the beach on the Cape anticipating the sunset.  It was a beautiful evening, clear and warm with a gentle breeze blowing through the dunes.  Some other people started to gather as well.  The sun started to make its descent.  Some of the people were talking and seemed to be more engaged in the topics at hand.  However, this is what they missed – As the sun slowly set, there were wondrous hues of orange, pink, lavender, gold, and shades of blue streaming across the evening sky.  The sun grew deeper in color from orange to fire red.  The ocean seemed to grow louder as its waves hit the shore.  The wind picked up a bit and the temperature dropped.  Then the sun dropped under the horizon and the night sky emerged.  Day literally turned into night.  Amazing!

There is a distinct difference between watching as an observer versus experiencing it as a participant.  Watching is passive and non-connective – sort of being there but not fully engaged, or looking from the outside in.  Experiencing is about being completely present with our whole self or whole body – being one with the experience at hand.  In the instance of the sunset the experience was about allowing the colors, sounds, and other qualities to touch us emotionally, physically, and mentally – being authentically moved internally by beauty and wonder – noticing the interconnectedness in nature and all things.  Unless one is paying full attention and is completely focused, the moment-to-moment changes pass right by and the process goes unnoticed.  Thinking is not experiencing.  If anything, thinking takes us away from reality and the moments at hand.

What might we change if we were to tune into others more often and truly listen with our whole bodies?  Or, notice the day when we walk outside for the first time in the morning?  Or, tune into what we ourselves are saying, eating, thinking?  Essentially, what if we were to notice the details as well as the depth of each moment?  Do you tend to watch or experience?

Relaxation Soothing with the Five Senses

Self-soothing is a key part of self-care.  The goal of self-soothing is to comfort you emotionally and physically by doing things that are sensually pleasant and not harmful.  Self-soothing is a mindfulness practice when you are focusing your full attention on the feelings being experienced by your five senses. By being fully present on what you are experiencing in the moment, you will be able to get you outside of your head and away from troubling thoughts, feelings, and impulses.

Here are some ideas on how you can practice self-soothing this summer:

Vision: Plant a colorful flower garden or arrange potted plants on your deck or balcony. Watch the birds in your feeder and notice the different types and colors. Shop at a local farm market for vegetables and take time to notice the look of the fresh vegetables. Notice the colors and shape.

Hearing: Take a few minutes in the morning as you wake up to listen to the birds singing outside. Listen to the sound of the summer rain. Attend an outdoor summer concert and spend the evening listening to some pleasant music.

Smell: When driving through wooded areas put the windows of your car down and smell the sweetness of the honeysuckle. When you are in your garden, literally take time to “smell the roses!” Plant an herbal garden including basil, parsley, mint, and sage. Be sure to pick some to use in cooking and smell the freshness.

Taste:  Take a pause and take in the taste of a fresh summer peach or other fruit of your liking. Tune into the taste. Take time to chew and taste your barbequed meal noticing the many flavors. When drinking an iced tea, slow down and taste it – don’t gulp!

Touch:  When outside put your face up to the sun – close your eyes and feel its warmth on your face. If on the beach, feel the sand between your toes and the feel of the ocean as you walk along the shoreline. Feel the texture of the soil when planting flowers or vegetables.

Try making time every day to pay attention to these summer pleasures.  Take them in and notice your response.  Pay attention to what happens within your body.  It would be interesting to hear about what you learned when you look back and reflect on your summer.

Getting Well - Staying Well: Healing vs. Cure - Part #3

Recovery and Healing: Turning “Crisis into Opportunity"

Getting Well - Staying Well: Healing vs. Cure - Part #3

As a Philadelphia and Chester County - based therapist, certified addictions counselor and co occurring disorders/ dual diagnosis specialist, I see clients in my practice who have been trying to work through tough health, mental health and addictions challenges for a long time.

"When am I going to feel better?" "When are things going to change?" These are questions that my clients in my practice in Chestnut Hill and West Chester, PA ask when feeling uncomfortable or when life presents an illness, disability, or loss - some sort of crisis that was not asked for but happened.

There are times in life when we want change and often need change to happen in order to establish or restore well-being. However, as adults who have been around a while, perhaps we know that change is a process not an event. That there is no real "cure" to our problems or conditions - But, our desire for things to be fixed can keep us searching for immediate solutions and attached to false expectations, reinforcing and prolonging our discomfort.

I listen closely to people's life experiences. I hear about the adversity and struggle that people have endured and survived.  Although such wear withal is a sign of strength, such rallying can certainly take a toll over the long term. When help is long overdue is only natural to want to be done and better. So, it is important to be aware of expectations and to have a sense of the difference between curing and healing.

"Cure" is intermingled in the definition of healing, healing means something very different than merely "curing" or eradicating illness or disease, but restoring to balance, repairing, and returning to soundness. Healing often has more to do with emotions and a sense of safety; fostered by self- respect and control, and having positive people and conditions in one's life. Healing requires the deeper work of change involving reflection, self-examination and acceptance of what was and is. This type of settlement prepares the foreground for health and life-long well-being, the type of inner comfort and satisfaction that most of us long for and see in others who we deem "enlightened," but often do not know how to attain for ourselves. Healing is necessary for any lasting change to take place.

Starting with "what is" and accepting "what is" is the starting point - developing a willingness and capacity for being and staying in the moment and noticing what is real as compared to the mental fiction of our minds is necessary if we wish to develop inner resilience and strength.  Being able to follow and notice the moment to moment changes within ourselves, including our thoughts and emotions and how we respond to other people and our environment is part of regaining control of ourselves, behavior and improving our lives.

One of my favorite as well as being a client favorite books for teaching mindfulness and how it is linked to our health and well-being is The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. His teaching on the "Pain Body" is helpful in understanding the mind-body connection.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcgSYC3h1ew

Join us next week to read about: Recovery - Healing: Forbearance and Resulting Gifts