Depression During Life Transitions: Is it Normal?

Life is all about cycles - Seasons change, weather moves in patterns, the economy fluctuates, trends ... change...transition...all of which are happening constantly.

Recently, I was talking with a woman who had moved into a lovely home.  It was the home of her dreams.  She had been very excited about the move and creating this wonderful space. However, about a month or so after the move she found herself feeling depressed and lethargic.  She was very concerned and considered anti-depressant medication.

Change brings forth many emotions, sensations and shifts - ups and downs. Generally we don't associate depression with "good things" but in truth each one of us responds to change in our own unique way.

Plants were my first teachers about change. Have you ever moved a plant from one spot to another? What happens? They tend to wilt and look like they might die. Just when you think it is a lost cause the plant perks up! Go figure...

We do a little of this too. Our moods and energy are always in flux and subject to change. This can make most people nervous - Who really feels comfortable when feeling, a bit depressed or down?
However, is what is being felt a symptom of depression or a human experience?

There is a difference between a clinical condition and a response to a life event. We tend to label unwanted feelings and experiences as being related to sickness, but just like the plant or the woman who moved, that might not be the case. It just might be because change takes energy and lots of it - more than we might think.  Also, anytime something is gained something is lost. Loss is part of every change - Even the changes that we want or goals we have worked towards. Grieving is a natural response to loss. Depression is part of grieving.

Preparation for change is key in setting ourselves up for success.  Being able to move through change and transition safely and successfully without putting ourselves at risk or sabotaging our success. Each one of us may be sensitive to specific triggers/ stressors, events or circumstances - The conditions that may challenge our sense of mental, emotional and physical balance.

Mood and energy cycles often parallel with the environmental conditions occurring within and around us. If you are a person who is sensitive to change and or has mood, addiction or chronic health problems it is important to pay extra attention to change, especially when it involves your personal space, work or people in your life. Self knowledge is key.

The ability to understand our own cycles is needed in order to help ourselves in the best ways possible.

In order to feel well and to be effective, we need to adapt to changing conditions. This means that we need to identify, understand and prepare for them according to our individual needs.

 

This is why it is critical that we create the conditions we need to be well and successful. We can control that part.

 

This helps us in becoming skilled in managing change.  Being adaptive and able to work with change is needed to be able to grow, increase our skills and capacities and to reach our personal and professional goals.  As we move through life and experience its' joys, our victories, defeats and losses we will have many intensive and personal feelings many of which are part of the process of becoming a whole person. Growth can be stressful and uncomfortable, but necessary if we are to become more skilled in living life.

Approaching ourselves with kindness, inquiry and flexibility allows us to create the conditions we need to move forward through the changes in our lives. This means not judging every uncomfortable feeling and or event that does not go as planned as something wrong or a sign of failure. Instead setting things up so that we have what we need - support, healthy lifestyle habits and a mindset of willingness and openness.

Through this process we become more resilient- meaning stress hardy. Then we truly become more healthy, adaptive and bounce back from set backs and stressors even using them as leverage to move forward.  We are then truly able to move forward with confidence and in a manner by which we can be our best selves.

Why Count Sheep? The Importance of Sleep

Do you suffer depression or have unstable mood, problems with your appetite, weight, or chronic pain? If so, how you much sleep do you get per night? - Probably not much or as much as you need.
In fact, it is estimated that approximately 70% of Americans are sleep deprived.

In my counseling practice I work with many clients who are trying to improve their mood and increase their ability to control their behavior with food, alcohol or decrease reactivity when angry or having strong feelings. They are getting just a few hours per night. Five or six hours just doesn’t cut it!

I often hear that people do not have time to sleep or that they cannot sleep – Either way, lack of sleep impacts our ability to function safely and effectively.

How can we expect to feel well and perform through the day if we do not sleep well enough at night?
There are quite a few “sleep deterrents” as I call them, which contribute to ongoing sleep problems.

Some of these include:

- Staying up too late surfing on-line instead of going to bed.
- Completing procrastinated
- Catching up on work email or projects.
- Texting, emailing and social media activity.
- Watching television and “tuning out.”
- Eating too late with no time to digest.
- Anxiety and worry about the next day or “life” in general.

Technology is a big culprit! Without solid boundaries, it steals time and can interfere with self-care. It also creates an illusion of connection between people, and we are social creatures – We tend to get drawn in!

I recommend that my clients to shut off all technology about 1-2 hours before bedtime - including television. Replacing technology with pleasant music, aromatherapy, candles or some other soothing sense based ritual can be helpful - And, of course, to do them repeatedly over time.

It takes time to learn to calm down and wind down.
 
There needs to be time to prepare for sleep – This is called sleep hygiene. These are the habits throughout the day and the time before bedtime that set the foreground for healthy sleep. It is about creating a mind-set of sleep.
 
Being aware of the impact of sugar, caffeine, alcohol on the ability to sleep is of key importance - Cut these out before bedtime. Also, that technology is stimulating and has a bigger effect on the ability to sleep than we might think.

All of these small changes add up to better health as sleep is just as important as food!

Sleep is medicine. It is a restorative process which keeps the human body maintained and “tuned” in order to be able to function safely and effectively. During the night we are going through stages of sleep whereby the body is recalibrating biochemically, which helps the body reset and be ready to interface with the challenges of the next day.

Lack of quality sleep can impact the quality of our lives. In fact, it can create as well as worsen many problems – It can decrease resiliency and make conditions ripe for impulsivity, moodiness, relapse on alcohol, and food cravings. It can also contribute to other problems with blood sugar, heart and more.

When we sleep through the night that important body functions are happening. The body is replenishing and repairing itself. Part of this process involves the natural lowering of the stress hormone cortisol. This helps us be able to be refreshed and recharged and ready to take on the challenges of the next day.

Lowering cortisol is also necessary to be able to have behavioral control over our impulses. It also has an impact on metabolism and weight control. If we do not get adequate sleep, we are more likely to gain weight.

So, if you are not sleeping well – What’s keeping you up at night?